Well, my friends, we come to a place in the road where everything you thought was important is really not. We (Robin and I) saw the pictures from the CT scan. What we saw was amazing.
In no less than 10 months, since my last chest x-ray, growths have appeared. In my lungs, both of them, and my liver has 3 in it, it looks like, they are bunched together. My liver is swollen and way bigger than it is supposed to be.
I go in for a biopsy on the lung tissue next Tuesday. This is hard for me to write. But I made a decision not to close myself up and hide. I'm going to live, live, and have fun! More butter pecan ice cream! And I'm going to paint all the time, all the time, all the time. Anybody that doesn't like what I do, I don't care. Suddenly I feel quite free.
Love you all.
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5 comments:
Sorry to hear you are so sick I will say a prayer for you keep in touch wishing you all of the best.
Cecilia,
I am so sorry. It reminded me of the following, perhaps you will find some solace in this offering. Our prayers are with you.
A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in 'Mom let's run through the rain,' she said.
'What?'
Mom asked.
'Let' s run through the rain!' She repeated
'No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit,' Mom replied.
This young child waited about another minute and repeated: 'Mom, let's run through the rain,'
'We'll get soaked if we do,' Mom said.
'No, we won't, Mom.. That's not what you said this morning,' the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?
'Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'
The entire crowd stopped dead silent.. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.
Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But
this was a moment of affirmation in a young child 's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it w ill bloom into faith.
'Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing,' Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked.. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.
And yes, I did.. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
Cia you will certainly be in my prayers.
Cia . . . .What a way to hear bad news! On a blog comment! Whew! You sure do know how to kick someone in the backside. I am shocked and, Frankly, speechless.
Old memories immediately appeared in my mind of you and a gang of folks who hosted me and my amateur self in Auburn just a few years ago. That group of memories will never leave me . . .or the knowlege that you have done sooooo much to spread the word about watercolor and art in general . . . and the numbers of folks you have mentored and encouraged and pushed to be involved in it.
You are right about just keeping on. A famous guy once said that the best he could do was to keep on keeping on. Those of us who know deep in our hearts that the end will indeed be here, someday, also know that our thoughts will probably be about some fool painting we never finished or need to fix.
God gave us both a fabulous gift, Cia. And you have continued to give IT away to others. In spite of all the mistakes we have each made in our lives, we can both rest in the knowlege that we made a lot of people very happy and left a legacy of art making with lots of people.
In short, you have so much of which to be very proud!
I hope your kids and grandkids will come to that realization and honor it, too.
You are in my prayers, Cia. I wish I could be there to hold your hand and pass along an occasional hug to help you through this.
Cecilia, share, talk and write all you want about it. i can tell you are a strong soul.
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